Hello my fellow truth seekers Michael Van Dyke here. Welcome to my first post at my new home. I know it's been a very long time since my last post, let's just say the man's been keeping me down. Down, down in his underground secret government bunker, down. But I'm free once again to reveal the truth. This week I'm going to give you my top 5 suspects in the mystery of who was responsible for 9/11.
5) Chuck Norris
He certainly has the raw power and balls he could smash through any wall but did he have a motive?
4) Japanese Kamikaze pilot that accidentally flew through a time hole and reappeared by the World Trade Centre
What if as a Japanese Pilot was about to smash into someone and a portal to the future opened right in front of him and he was transported to 21st century New York unaware that the war was over. Doesn't this explain everything?
3) Hyperbolic Space Chicken called Ian
We all know Space Chickens love destruction, in my opinion they'd be more than happy to mastermind a terrorist attack.
2) George Bush
Surely the most sensible answer is that George W. Bush and his government masterminded the whole scheme to allow them to declare war on terrorists and get all the oil in the world!
1) John Travolta
In my eyes there is only one man who could have masterminded something as diabolical as the 9/11 attacks and that man is John Travolta. I present this evidence to you: John Travolta has a pilot's licence!!! And his career has been indestructible no matter how many bad films he's made he's always bounced back why can't his body do the same?
The Voice of C.o.M.H.
This time I've asked my new colleagues here at C.o.M.H. who they think was behind 9/11.
Dick Smalls, A Dose of Dick: "In my opinion it was all masterminded by the U.S. Government, I wouldn't be surprised if Tom Delay was in some way responsible.
Randolph Badger, Randy's World of Hate: "I've always had my suspicions about Graeme Le Saux..."
James Leopold Dense, Going Down To Poo Town: "Me think it was very, very bad man."
Grandpa Maurice Badger, Randy's World of Hate: It was terrorists man, Osama Bin Laden and all that lot.
Danny Dyer, Danny Dyer's Chitty Chitty Bang Bang: "I bet it was Dick Van Dyke like with his fake cockerney accacent that he does in that documentary Mary Poppins. E's not a real cockerney like me."
In my eyes there is only one man who could have masterminded something as diabolical as the 9/11 attacks and that man is John Travolta. I present this evidence to you: John Travolta has a pilot's licence!!! And his career has been indestructible no matter how many bad films he's made he's always bounced back why can't his body do the same?
The Voice of C.o.M.H.
This time I've asked my new colleagues here at C.o.M.H. who they think was behind 9/11.
Dick Smalls, A Dose of Dick: "In my opinion it was all masterminded by the U.S. Government, I wouldn't be surprised if Tom Delay was in some way responsible.
Randolph Badger, Randy's World of Hate: "I've always had my suspicions about Graeme Le Saux..."
James Leopold Dense, Going Down To Poo Town: "Me think it was very, very bad man."
Grandpa Maurice Badger, Randy's World of Hate: It was terrorists man, Osama Bin Laden and all that lot.
Danny Dyer, Danny Dyer's Chitty Chitty Bang Bang: "I bet it was Dick Van Dyke like with his fake cockerney accacent that he does in that documentary Mary Poppins. E's not a real cockerney like me."
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