Sunday 11 July 2010

How To Spot A Gay


Greetings to all that readeth The World of Dick. Reverend Black here once more. This time around I will guide you in the war against the GayBo alliance (the allegiance between the gays and the lesbos). We all know of course that the GayBos were put on this earth by the Devil to corrupt the pure and the innocent. With the help of my able assistants Daniel Dyer and Orange Juice Simpson I now present you a guide on how to spot one of these bum banditos.

1. An unhealthy interest in musicals


Does the gentleman in question own anything by Andrew Lloyd Webber? Does he know that Les Miserables is a musical and not a nickname for the French world cup squad? Does he find John Barrowman entertaining rather than irratating? Then you've got a gay.

2. Too much Vaseline on the shelf?


How much is too much? Any amount of Vaseline is too much for a norm. Check the share prices of the Vaseline company, have they gone up constantly in the time your male friend has been sexually active. If they have then well sir you have a gay.

3. Leather clothing


Only gays wear leather that is an elemental law of the universe. So if your buddy has taken to wearing leather shorts, you've got a gay. If he's matching his leather shorts with any sort of sleveless top then you've got a super gay and better get yourself tested for AIDS straight away because as we all know, just coming into contact with a super gay is enough to catch the disease.

4. Regular HIV tests


AIDS or the gay disease to give it it's scientific name is only caught by gayness. If your male friend is heard saying "gee whizz I'm nervous about my latest AIDS test," then you've got yourself a gay. Load up the shotgun and put him out of his misery.

5. Worshipping at the feet of the King Gay


The gays have a king, a man so gay that both his first and last names sound suspiciously similar to slang terms for penis (cock and wang do you see?). If you ever hear your male friend so "I sure wish that Gok Wan would do me!" then my friend you've got a gay.


"Never turn your back on a gay. The average gay thinks about raping a norm every 7 seconds."


"Being gay makes god cry. Look at all those celebrity gays, Elton John, Matt Lucas, The Village People, Right Said Fred, they've all made god cry that's why we have floods. Sodomy causes tsunamis."

There are of course several other ways of spotting gays and I'm sure your familiar with them all. Together we can get rid of all these heathens and fill the world with the church loving people like Catholics and Muslims who never do anything wrong.

Peace & Love

Reverend Black



To Catch A Pervert with Chet Ajabagger & Mike Van Dyke
Randy's Soap Box with Randy Badger
Going Down To Poo Town with Jimmy Dense
How To Spot An Ethnic Minority with Reverend Black

Friday 9 July 2010

Welcome Back To The World of Dick


Hello and welcome to the first proper entry under the new regime here at C.o.M.H. with me Randy Badger. What can you expect from the new blog? Well we've got your old favourites and some new goodies. He may be writing his memoirs but Dick will still be bringing you his picks and pricks, Jimmy returns with more poo based hijinx and we've got the good old fashioned Thought of the Day. The Rev will be returning with more of his helpful guides to live a pure life and Dear Randy returns. Also I'll be bringing you Randy's Soap Box where I rant about the things I hate, Chet and M.V.D. will be exposing the internet's perverts in To Catch A Pervert with the C.o.M.H. team's latest addition Tiffanee Smythe and of course we will be presenting exerts from Dick's memoirs. Hopefully you'll enjoy the new World of Dick as much as you enjoyed the original. This week we have a fresh dose of Dick's Picks and Pricks, Jimmy's Poo of the Week, History's Biggest Retards, someone else we'd like to return as a zombie, more Grinty goodness and of course Thought of the Day.




1. Edward Grimes



Not sure which one he is, but one of the Jedwards made an inappropriate joke at the expense of C.o.M.H. favourite Cheryl Cole which was hilarious, we of course hope she recovers from malaria so Zanzibar can return to slagging her off.


2. Phil off Eastenders


C.o.M.H. man of the decade Phil off Eastenders continues to astound me with his brilliance, not only is he the finest actor of his generation in this week's Eastenders he proved he can sing like an angel.




1. The England Soccerball Team


Yeah we've been out of action here at C.o.M.H. for a while and we've missed most of the International SoccerBall Championships but we haven't forgotten what pricks England were.


2. The Hose Pipe Ban



OK I've been locked in my office constantly writing my memoirs so I haven't found much to be angry about, so I'm scrapping the barrel with this one. Damn that pesky hose pipe ban!



Welcome to my new poo based series. Each week I'll provide what I consider to be my poo of the week.

#1 The Poo Splatter Bomb







Well this is probably the last time we'll do this feature so we have something special for this week, this picture embodies everything we love about Grinty. Enjoy!




#2 L. Ron Hubbard


Yes the sci fi writer and founder of Scientology easily makes it on to our list of biggest retards. He writes books about aliens and then founds a religion based on these ideas, fucking retard. Although there is no way of proving that the child molesting idiot actually believed this crap but those that do are just as retarded as he is.






I was thinking the other day what would be better than a zombie puppet show? So this week I'm wishing that Rod Hull would return as a zombie.



"I'm like Cheryl's twin because I hurt myself. She hurt herself. Two great people hurting themselves. It's going to be a big funeral... Just messing!" Edward Grimes, creepy Irish stereotype, singer

Until next time...
Peace & Love
Randolph Badger


Coming Soon

To Catch A Pervert with Chet Ajabagger & Mike Van Dyke

How To Spot A Homo with Reverend Black