Saturday 16 October 2010

Dick Gets Hard Again!



Greetings and salutations my fellow Huggynites and welcome back to old school A Dose of Dick with me Dick Smalls. It's good to be back where we belong here on the orginal Church of Mike Huggins blog. We've caved in to popular demand and we will be covering this years X Factor putting our divine powers behind our favourite contestant. You can follow our live coverage of X Factor over on Twitter by following ADoseOfDick or by becoming friends with me on Facebook. We're a bit behind with our report on last week's X Factor so please forgive us! Randy also returns to A Dose of Dick with a new section "The Tool Report" in which he gives us the latest news on what the tools we hate the most are up to. Oh and we've got some new Cliff and Grinty for you. Enjoy Dick Gets Hard On... The X Factor


Hey gang,
I'm joined by all your C.o.M.H. favourites to bring you our expert opinions on this years X Facor. We'll bring you in depth analysis of our favourite acts and blindly criticise those we just don't like. We'll also mention just how much we hate Cheryl Cole and Dannii Minogue who are bonafide Dick's Pricks. First up Randy gives his opinion on Cher.



Apparently the recent act F.A.S.T. campaign didn't work 'cause this slighty faced tone death cow has had more strokes than a chronic masturbator. The last two Saturday nights have seen hate filled tweets fill Twitter all aimed at this irratating mong. Well I fucking hate her, she's a mini Cheryl and she can't fucking sing. Oh Cher MC Hammer called he wants his pants back.

Next Chet discusses Mary and his erectile disfunction


It was the drink you see. It stopped my pecker from springing to life. But then Saturday night it was reborn. Mary is a very handsome woman and she has a voice like Viagra. Her performance last Saturday was orgasmic at least for me.

Dick gets hard on Diva Fever


We had asked the Rev to review Diva Fever but he went off in a mad rage about the GayBo Agenda and we found him walking the streets in his underwear holding a packet of Kleenex roaring that it doesn't make him gay. We're not sure what "it" is but we've let him have the week off. Diva Fever... well they were camp weren't they? What else can you say.

Zanzibar on Aiden


Ummm he's a real dreamboat. I wouldn't mind having him all to myself whilst wearing that lovely straight jacket from last week's show. You wouldn't be able to escape me then.

Merton judges Katie


Oh look it's the world most unoriginal original performer. Yeah she wants to be penis wielding tranny Lady Gaga we get it. But she can't sing and her frigging chin makes her looks like the Joker. Fuck you Katie you shit bag.

Jimmy on Nicolo


The scary mental man makes me cry!

And now for the big one! We here at C.o.M.H. Tower are proud to support our favourite. The one the only Josef Fritzl! Josef has had a tough few years and we're glad he's trying to move away from all that incest sex dungeon business and put his talents to good use. Good luck Josef we believe in you and so does Mike!




This week Cliff is looking shit hot in the pool.







Welcome to the first Tool Report with me Randy Badger. This week I'm reporting on C.o.M.H.'s biggest tool greasy sex fiend Daniel Radcliffe. I was reading this week that the talentless little shit wants to bang some dancers he's working with.


This is what the monkey Scrotum had to say:

The 21-year-old, who reportedly lost his virginity at 16 to a Harry Potter hairdresser seven years his elder, told Dazed & Confused magazine: "I've been in relationships from the age of 14 and now I'm single. I said to a friend the other day, 'Dude, I'm doing a show with dancers. I've got to be single.' He was like, 'Don't sleep with anyone in your show. That's a mistake.' It's good advice. But I'm not sure I'll stick to it."

What a creepy fucking little prick he really is. He's a grade A tool.


We now move on to a better class of actor. It is of course the legendary Grinty enjoy his beauty in this delightful image.


Well gang I hope you enjoyed the latest A Dose of Dick, we'll be back next week and follow our X Factor commentary on Twitter.

Peace & Love

Dick Smalls