Hello and welcome to another Dick's Pricks special. This time we're focusing on the very bad TV adverts that we all hate. This is not a comprehensive list it's just a selection of ten of the worst. Enjoy sharing our hate my friends...
10. The Tissue of Lies (erm I mean Cillit Bang)
Plot of advert: Shouty man shouts, cleans pennies
What better to start than with the master of all liars. Yes it's "Barry Scott" or as he is now known Mr Shouty the lying bastard. That's all he does shout, shout, shout. And his name is not even Barry Scott. If he's lying about that what else is he lying about?
9. Up Your Viva Freakathon
Plot of advert: Creepy lady boy with bad teeth talks dirty to man in public toilet
Seriously what the hell is that? He ain't brother of mine, he can not be human. Someone really dropped a steamer in the gene pool with this freak. I promise you I will never Up My Viva on this creature's orders. Damn you freaky lady boy!
8. FAST Stroke
Plot of advert: Woman has stroke, we all laugh, she recovers
Yes we laughed to. Yes we know we're not supposed to. As youtube use hellraiser123 said "harsh as fuck. my grandad had a major stroke and died from blood flooding in teh brain. i wuldve normally laughed alot at this, same with disabled people you piss yourself at things untill it happens close by you then you realise how tight it is." But even so this is just a terrible advert and now I worry if anyone close to me has a stroke I'll end up having one myself from laughing too much.
7. Stop Smoking Advert with god awful singing children
Plot of advert: Spawn of the stupid sing in an attempt to stop their idiot parents killing themselves
I couldn't care less if my kids would do anything for me if they started singing this crap at me I'd smoke extra fags in an attempt to spread cancer to the little bastards through passive smoking.
6. Halifax Radio Advert
Plot of advert: Halifax mongoloids including fuzzy faced fatty above pretend that bankers are really friendly and not a bunch of greedy c**ts that screw us all over at every opportunity, basically they lie more than Barry Scott.
Dear bankers you are not my friend, giving me £5 a month will not make me trust you. You are scum Jimmy can't buy pick and mix from Woolworths anymore because of you. And everyone in this advert makes Daniel Radcliffe look like Laurence Olivier which is quite an achievment.
5. Car Spotter
Plot of advert: Homeless man sees car, wonders what it's worth (I have no idea why) so he decides to spend £7 texting a pointless service to find out
This is more confusing than anything. Surely telling a thief how much a car's worth is not the best idea. And what if it turns out your car is worth less than the £7 you spent on the texts? And seriously what the hell are these adverts about?
4. Cash my Gold with Dale Winton
Plot of advert: Creepy TV presenter Dale Winton harrasses stupid people into selling their gold for less than it's worth.
These gold scams have already been a feature of Dick's Pricks and this advert ain't gonna change that. Do we really need Dale Winton on TV? Do we want poncy students getting money for gold so they can carry on being smug gits with more money than those of us who work for a living?
3. Evian with Creepy Babies
Plot of advert: Horrendous babies dance/skate around like freaky bastards
Am I the only one seriously freaked out by this? These children have horrible evil faces! I believe than Evian is what created these freaks and I certainly won't be drinking it again.
2. Don't Run Over Disabled Ginger Children Advert
Plot of advert: Man sees dead ginger kid everywhere (under the desk is probably the best one)
We all know technically speaking running over a ginger kid with Down's Syndrome is "wrong". But seriously if you hit someone in your car got out and saw that lying on the floor would you feel guilty or would you feel like you'd made the world slightier beautiful place.
1. Go Compare with Smugly Fat Opera Singer
Plot of advert: People talk about car insurance fat man appears and sings about car insurance then sexually harrasses lobster
It was ok the first time but then he started taking the piss. Suddenly he can fly, is sexually attracted to lobsters and sings the same bloody tune every time.
No comments:
Post a Comment