Greetings my fellow Huggynites and welcome to another Dose of Dick. Yesterday was of course exactly one year since I first gave the world A Dose of Dick and to celebrate that fact there will be a special birthday edition of ADOD which will look back at the last 12 months and remembering the good times. But today it's business as usual we've got Picks, Pricks, Jimmy's Poo, Cliff's Pictures, Zanzibar's Hot Gossip and Thought of the Day. Enjoy!
1. Phil off Eastenders
Yes tonight's the big one! To celebrate 25 years of the world's most depressing show there will be a live episode where we find out which moody git murdered another moody git on Christmas Day. Everyone here is hoping it's our Man of the Decade, Phil off Eastenders and to show our support we're having him as a pick.
2. Doug Fieger
Frontman with the Knack and co-writer of the greatest song ever written ever (My Sharona obviously) passed away on Valentine's Day. This sucks so we're paying tribute to the man with this honour of making him a Dick's Pick.
1. Paul Cooper
Paul is an amateur footballer for Hawick United. He recently managed to recieve six red cards in one match, quite an impressive tally. For this we must give him a slow hand clap and sing bout how his wife takes it up the Arsenal. Silly football man.
2. Elton John
Mr. John has recently suggested Jesus Christ, the Messiah, man with a full manly beard is a gay. Now I'm not having this. Candle in the Wind was an ok song if you like that kind of thing which I don't personaly but you can't not suggest Jesus was a sausage factory just because he spent most of his time with men and never had a girlfriend and knew all the steps in the Y.M.C.A. dance doesn't make him a gay. No Elton, no.
This week Cliff's cooking up some stew in his favourite pot. Go Cliff, go!
This week: A ten pence piece from 1990, you know back when they were a bit bigger...
Hello my lovelies Zanzibar Krotchtown here with more hot celebrity gossip. We've recently recieved an injunction preventing us preventing any Jordan gossip for a month so this week we have the latest rumours on Cheryl Cole.
1. Cheryl Cole's breath smells of magnesium, and that she’s scared of bells...
1. Paul Cooper
Paul is an amateur footballer for Hawick United. He recently managed to recieve six red cards in one match, quite an impressive tally. For this we must give him a slow hand clap and sing bout how his wife takes it up the Arsenal. Silly football man.
2. Elton John
Mr. John has recently suggested Jesus Christ, the Messiah, man with a full manly beard is a gay. Now I'm not having this. Candle in the Wind was an ok song if you like that kind of thing which I don't personaly but you can't not suggest Jesus was a sausage factory just because he spent most of his time with men and never had a girlfriend and knew all the steps in the Y.M.C.A. dance doesn't make him a gay. No Elton, no.
This week Cliff's cooking up some stew in his favourite pot. Go Cliff, go!
This week: A ten pence piece from 1990, you know back when they were a bit bigger...
Hello my lovelies Zanzibar Krotchtown here with more hot celebrity gossip. We've recently recieved an injunction preventing us preventing any Jordan gossip for a month so this week we have the latest rumours on Cheryl Cole.
1. Cheryl Cole's breath smells of magnesium, and that she’s scared of bells...
2. Cheryl Cole's heart is in upside down, and her teeth glow in the dark...
3. Cheryl Cole's ears aren’t exactly where you’d expect them to be, and once, preposterously, she had an affair with John Prescott...
3. Cheryl Cole's ears aren’t exactly where you’d expect them to be, and once, preposterously, she had an affair with John Prescott...
"Ooh my little pretty one, pretty one. When you gonna give me some time, Sharona?Ooh you make my motor run, my motor run. Gun it comin' off the line SharonaNever gonna stop, give it up. Such a dirty mind. Always get it up for the touchof the younger kind. My my my i yi woo. M M M My Sharona...," Doug Fieger, legend
Peace & Love
Dick Smalls
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