The Dickies 2010

Hello and welcome to the second annual Dickies, the awards handed out by the C.o.M.H. team to those we deem worthy. Enjoy this last taste of the old ADOD before we begin a full relaunch. On with the awards!

"Celebrity" Pick of the Year

Jedward



Those wacky Jedward boys have moved up from 3rd place last year to winners of the title of celebrity pick of the year. After a fantastic year with a brilliant album, a legendary performance at T4 on the Beach and a joke about Cheryl Cole dying of malaria these boys deserve this award.
Honourable mentions; Peter Andre, Grinty


"Celebrity" Prick of the Year

Danny Dyer


It's been a mixed year for Danny. More classic films such as Pimp and another classic comedy football DVD and joining the C.o.M.H. team have been overshadowed by his irresponsible and stupid comments in Zoo magazine where he recommended a man slash his ex girlfriend's face so she couldn't find anyone else. What a total prick.

Honourable mentions; Gillian McKieth, Donny Osmond, Lady GaGa, Jordan

Acting Pick of the Year

Phil off Eastenders



2010 was the year of Phil off Eastenders. Once again acting everyone off the screen Phil off Eastenders had some of the most harrowing story lines in the history of the show including having sex with the world's roughest looking woman, having a flaming homo as a son and being a crack head. Phil off Eastenders brought warmth and great skill to these storylines and no one has come to close to matching him for amazing acting abilities.

Honourable mentions; Grinty, Go Compare Guy, Talking meerkat thing

Acting Prick of the Year

Daniel Radcliffe



Another year, another Harry Potter film. 2010 featured Radcliffe playing seven versions of himself and they were all shit.

Honourable mentions; the cast of the Twilight movies, the cast of Harry Potter, Ben off Eastenders

Celebrity Sex Offender of the Year

Josef Frtitzl


This year Josef is the only real contender and that's because even though he ran a creepy incest sex dungeon Fritzy has been planning on rebuilding the surrounding area. For having the balls to do that we just have to salute you Mr. Fritzl sir.

TV Presenter Pick of the Year

Hacker T. Dog



Yes. We're being serious. No human presenters are good enough this award. Check out Hacker on the CBBC channel he is freaking hilarious.

Honourable mentions; Oucho the cactus, Mongo the magic puppet

TV Presenter Prick of the Year

Konnie Huq



Yeah alright Huq you're on the grown up tele now and you're married to Charlie Brooker but seriously fuck off with your shitty Xtra Factor crap.

Honourable mentions; Chris Evans, Bruce Forsyth, Ant & Dec

Talent Show Judge Pick of the Year



This award has been left vacant as they're a cunty bunch

Talent Show Judge Prick of the Year

Cheryl Cole



Not happy with being in a shit band she had to have a shit solo career. Not happy with a shit solo career she had to create a mini me. Cheryl Cole will you please fuck off and take Bill-I-Am-A-Total-Fucking-Cun with you yeah pet?

Honourable mentions; Simon Cowell, Amanda Holden, Piers Morgan, Michael MacIntyre (hasn't started yet but he's still a moon faced cunt), Dannii Minogue

Talent Show Wannabe Pick of the Year

Wagner


Wagner was flying the freak flag high this year, he was shit, looked a bit like Josef Fritzl and didn't make much sense but he slagged off Cheryl Cole and he was pretty funny.

Honourable mentions; Random Black Boy from the Harry Potter Movies


Talent Show Wannabe Prick of the Year

Cher "Mongo" Lloyd


Yes it's the stroke suffering faced, gypsy Cheryl Cole clone that sounds like a fucking mong having a fit when she's singing. It's unlikely we've heard the last of this cunt so expect to see her back here next year.

Honourable mentions; Katie Weasel, Gamu, Matt Cardle, any shit street dance act that appears on Britain's Got Talent

The Official Dick's Pick of the Year

Phil off Eastenders


Who is more deserving than this man? He's C.o.M.H.'s man of the decade and looks set to hold that award again in 2019. Mr. Mitchell sir we salute you.

Honourable mentions; Jedward, Andre the Giant, Peter Andre


The Official Dick's Prick of the Year

Kerry Katona


It's been a year for clones of shit celebrities and ITV has been responsible for them all. It's bad enough they forced Jordan down our throats for the last 5 years they've now found her replacement in the equally useless Kerry Katona another whiney waster we hope will fuck off in 2011.

Honourable mentions; Jordan, Alex Reid, Cheryl Cole, Jason Donovan, Jeremy Kyle




Those we've lost this year;

-Gary Coleman
-Leslie Nielsen
-Paul the Octopus
-Norman Wisdom
-Bernard Matthews
-Malcolm Allison
-Claire Rayner
-Gillian McKeith's dignity
-Ronnie/Roxy Mitchell's (Phil off Eastenders sister/cousin) baby
-Those three who died in that tram crash on that documentary 'Coronation Street'
-Alex Higgins
-Chris Kanyon
-Jean Simmons
-Any 'Z-List' celebrity's career
-The Bill
-Big Brother

Well I hope you've enjoyed the Dickies and I hope you've enjoyed A Dose of Dick throughout 2010. For a while it looked the end of C.o.M.H. but we're back and better than ever. In 2011 we will be relaunching the blog, all the old entries will be shifted over to our archive blog the World of Dick and we will be having a fresh start. Your old favourites such as Dick's Picks and Pricks, Jimmy's Poo, Dear Randy and the Big Question will be joined by new features such as What's Pissing off Garth Crooks This Week? We'll also be answering those big questions; who is Jimmy's father? Will a Jeremy Kyle spoof work when written down? Is Merton still alive? Will Dick remarry? Can Chet and Chasey Lain get past their problems and be happy again? Will we ever see the likes of Timmy Dense, Taco Sanchez, Buzzy Gastro, Lundy Cupp, Maurice Badger and the Rev again? Will we see more of Randy's world of hate? Will M.V.D. wake from the coma that's kept him from updating his blog? And finally we will answer the ultimate question...

Tom Cruise....

True or fale?

Welcome Back To The World of Dick

Hello and welcome to the first proper entry under the new regime here at C.o.M.H. with me Randy Badger. What can you expect from the new blog? Well we've got your old favourites and some new goodies. He may be writing his memoirs but Dick will still be bringing you his picks and pricks, Jimmy returns with more poo based hijinx and we've got the good old fashioned Thought of the Day. The Rev will be returning with more of his helpful guides to live a pure life and Dear Randy returns. Also I'll be bringing you Randy's Soap Box where I rant about the things I hate, Chet and M.V.D. will be exposing the internet's perverts in To Catch A Pervert with the C.o.M.H. team's latest addition Tiffanee Smythe and of course we will be presenting exerts from Dick's memoirs. Hopefully you'll enjoy the new World of Dick as much as you enjoyed the original. This week we have a fresh dose of Dick's Picks and Pricks, Jimmy's Poo of the Week, History's Biggest Retards, someone else we'd like to return as a zombie, more Grinty goodness and of course Thought of the Day.




1. Edward Grimes



Not sure which one he is, but one of the Jedwards made an inappropriate joke at the expense of C.o.M.H. favourite Cheryl Cole which was hilarious, we of course hope she recovers from malaria so Zanzibar can return to slagging her off.


2. Phil off Eastenders


C.o.M.H. man of the decade Phil off Eastenders continues to astound me with his brilliance, not only is he the finest actor of his generation in this week's Eastenders he proved he can sing like an angel.




1. The England Soccerball Team


Yeah we've been out of action here at C.o.M.H. for a while and we've missed most of the International SoccerBall Championships but we haven't forgotten what pricks England were.


2. The Hose Pipe Ban



OK I've been locked in my office constantly writing my memoirs so I haven't found much to be angry about, so I'm scrapping the barrel with this one. Damn that pesky hose pipe ban!



Welcome to my new poo based series. Each week I'll provide what I consider to be my poo of the week.

#1 The Poo Splatter Bomb

Well this is probably the last time we'll do this feature so we have something special for this week, this picture embodies everything we love about Grinty. Enjoy!

#2 L. Ron Hubbard

Yes the sci fi writer and founder of Scientology easily makes it on to our list of biggest retards. He writes books about aliens and then founds a religion based on these ideas, fucking retard. Although there is no way of proving that the child molesting idiot actually believed this crap but those that do are just as retarded as he is.






I was thinking the other day what would be better than a zombie puppet show? So this week I'm wishing that Rod Hull would return as a zombie.



"I'm like Cheryl's twin because I hurt myself. She hurt herself. Two great people hurting themselves. It's going to be a big funeral... Just messing!" Edward Grimes, creepy Irish stereotype, singer

Until next time...
Peace & Love
Randolph Badger


Coming Soon

To Catch A Pervert with Chet Ajabagger & Mike Van Dyke

How To Spot A Homo with Reverend Black

We Don't Really Understand Politics But We're Angry Anyway

Hello my fellow Huggynites and welcome to the first Dose of Dick at our new home. I hope you're enjoying life here at The World of Dick where you can find A Dose of Dick, Randy's World of Hate, Going Down To Poo Town and Don't Believe The Truth with Michael Van Dyke. Well this week's Dose of Dick has a very political feel to it and I think it compliments Randy's most recent post nicely. This week we've got Picks and Pricks, Jimmy's Poo, The Big Question, Do You Remember?, Thought of The Day and Grinty A Picture's Worth A Thousand Words. As you know summer is fast approaching and once again I will be taking a break from the blog to go and spread the word of Mike to the rest of the world. Whilst I'm away A Dose of Dick will be in the hands of our new friend Reverand Black of The Church of Hell & Pain & All That Evil Stuff, I hope you'll show him the same love and respect you show me.

1. Gordon Brown


Yeah he's gone and we're gonna miss him. Ok he was creepier than that old guy who used to feel me up in the children's home but at least he wasn't David Cameron.

2. Scotland



The Scots made it very clear that they don't want Cameron and we love them for that. It's likely we will be relocating to Scotland in the not too distant future.

3. James Leopold Dense



It's Jimmy's birthday on Monday so make sure you send him your birthday wishes on Facebook.

1. Fearne Cotton

I'm sure you were expecting David Cameron but he's already got a roasting off Randy this week. So we've decided to go for Radio 1 mongoloid Fearne Cotton. Why? Well there's that god awful advert for Radio 1's Big Weekend where she mongs out over something called Pendulum and secondly we caught the end of her interview with Paris Hilton the other night. She described Hilton as somone who works incredibly hard...What the fudge?!? Total prick behaviour.

2. (p)Rick Edwards & Anyone else involved in Yoof TV

I hate pRick Edwards, he is a prick as is everyone else that hosts T4 or anything on BBC3. I hate you all so damn much. And young people that think this prick is funny and clever put yourself on this list of prickery.

3. Danny Dyer

This is the first time that a member of the C.o.M.H. team has been a prick but Danny really deserves it. He should be here every week because he's the biggest prick at C.o.M.H. but this week we're not impressed with his agony uncle column where he advised a man to cut his ex girlfriend's face so that no one else would want her. I think Mr. Dyer should check out Dear Randy to find out how to give good advice.

4. Ginger kid off Bootiful Chicken Advert

What the hell is going on? If you want to sell something especially food you don't get a disgusting ginger to sing at it. Well as it's Jimmy's birthday we've agreed to post the picture of the ginger kid as a testicle eating pirate he drew on Paint. Enjoy!

Do you remember when we weren't completely f**ked? Yeah they were the good old days.

What a hunk.

This week: Our beautiful country which has now fallen under the control of that demon Cameron.

This week David Cameron vs. Adolf Hitler. Who is the worst?




Hitler was bad but at least he was pretty honest about it and we're not Jewish so he wouldn't have been to bad to us. Cameron wants to screw us and he will.




Cameron is the biggest monster in the world right now. And in this case he may be the winner but we are all losers.


"I do not enjoy the act of pooing I just enjoy the end result," James Leopold Dense, blogger, retard