Welcome Back To The World of Dick

Hello and welcome to the first proper entry under the new regime here at C.o.M.H. with me Randy Badger. What can you expect from the new blog? Well we've got your old favourites and some new goodies. He may be writing his memoirs but Dick will still be bringing you his picks and pricks, Jimmy returns with more poo based hijinx and we've got the good old fashioned Thought of the Day. The Rev will be returning with more of his helpful guides to live a pure life and Dear Randy returns. Also I'll be bringing you Randy's Soap Box where I rant about the things I hate, Chet and M.V.D. will be exposing the internet's perverts in To Catch A Pervert with the C.o.M.H. team's latest addition Tiffanee Smythe and of course we will be presenting exerts from Dick's memoirs. Hopefully you'll enjoy the new World of Dick as much as you enjoyed the original. This week we have a fresh dose of Dick's Picks and Pricks, Jimmy's Poo of the Week, History's Biggest Retards, someone else we'd like to return as a zombie, more Grinty goodness and of course Thought of the Day.




1. Edward Grimes



Not sure which one he is, but one of the Jedwards made an inappropriate joke at the expense of C.o.M.H. favourite Cheryl Cole which was hilarious, we of course hope she recovers from malaria so Zanzibar can return to slagging her off.


2. Phil off Eastenders


C.o.M.H. man of the decade Phil off Eastenders continues to astound me with his brilliance, not only is he the finest actor of his generation in this week's Eastenders he proved he can sing like an angel.




1. The England Soccerball Team


Yeah we've been out of action here at C.o.M.H. for a while and we've missed most of the International SoccerBall Championships but we haven't forgotten what pricks England were.


2. The Hose Pipe Ban



OK I've been locked in my office constantly writing my memoirs so I haven't found much to be angry about, so I'm scrapping the barrel with this one. Damn that pesky hose pipe ban!



Welcome to my new poo based series. Each week I'll provide what I consider to be my poo of the week.

#1 The Poo Splatter Bomb

Well this is probably the last time we'll do this feature so we have something special for this week, this picture embodies everything we love about Grinty. Enjoy!

#2 L. Ron Hubbard

Yes the sci fi writer and founder of Scientology easily makes it on to our list of biggest retards. He writes books about aliens and then founds a religion based on these ideas, fucking retard. Although there is no way of proving that the child molesting idiot actually believed this crap but those that do are just as retarded as he is.






I was thinking the other day what would be better than a zombie puppet show? So this week I'm wishing that Rod Hull would return as a zombie.



"I'm like Cheryl's twin because I hurt myself. She hurt herself. Two great people hurting themselves. It's going to be a big funeral... Just messing!" Edward Grimes, creepy Irish stereotype, singer

Until next time...
Peace & Love
Randolph Badger


Coming Soon

To Catch A Pervert with Chet Ajabagger & Mike Van Dyke

How To Spot A Homo with Reverend Black

We Don't Really Understand Politics But We're Angry Anyway

Hello my fellow Huggynites and welcome to the first Dose of Dick at our new home. I hope you're enjoying life here at The World of Dick where you can find A Dose of Dick, Randy's World of Hate, Going Down To Poo Town and Don't Believe The Truth with Michael Van Dyke. Well this week's Dose of Dick has a very political feel to it and I think it compliments Randy's most recent post nicely. This week we've got Picks and Pricks, Jimmy's Poo, The Big Question, Do You Remember?, Thought of The Day and Grinty A Picture's Worth A Thousand Words. As you know summer is fast approaching and once again I will be taking a break from the blog to go and spread the word of Mike to the rest of the world. Whilst I'm away A Dose of Dick will be in the hands of our new friend Reverand Black of The Church of Hell & Pain & All That Evil Stuff, I hope you'll show him the same love and respect you show me.

1. Gordon Brown


Yeah he's gone and we're gonna miss him. Ok he was creepier than that old guy who used to feel me up in the children's home but at least he wasn't David Cameron.

2. Scotland



The Scots made it very clear that they don't want Cameron and we love them for that. It's likely we will be relocating to Scotland in the not too distant future.

3. James Leopold Dense



It's Jimmy's birthday on Monday so make sure you send him your birthday wishes on Facebook.

1. Fearne Cotton

I'm sure you were expecting David Cameron but he's already got a roasting off Randy this week. So we've decided to go for Radio 1 mongoloid Fearne Cotton. Why? Well there's that god awful advert for Radio 1's Big Weekend where she mongs out over something called Pendulum and secondly we caught the end of her interview with Paris Hilton the other night. She described Hilton as somone who works incredibly hard...What the fudge?!? Total prick behaviour.

2. (p)Rick Edwards & Anyone else involved in Yoof TV

I hate pRick Edwards, he is a prick as is everyone else that hosts T4 or anything on BBC3. I hate you all so damn much. And young people that think this prick is funny and clever put yourself on this list of prickery.

3. Danny Dyer

This is the first time that a member of the C.o.M.H. team has been a prick but Danny really deserves it. He should be here every week because he's the biggest prick at C.o.M.H. but this week we're not impressed with his agony uncle column where he advised a man to cut his ex girlfriend's face so that no one else would want her. I think Mr. Dyer should check out Dear Randy to find out how to give good advice.

4. Ginger kid off Bootiful Chicken Advert

What the hell is going on? If you want to sell something especially food you don't get a disgusting ginger to sing at it. Well as it's Jimmy's birthday we've agreed to post the picture of the ginger kid as a testicle eating pirate he drew on Paint. Enjoy!

Do you remember when we weren't completely f**ked? Yeah they were the good old days.

What a hunk.

This week: Our beautiful country which has now fallen under the control of that demon Cameron.

This week David Cameron vs. Adolf Hitler. Who is the worst?




Hitler was bad but at least he was pretty honest about it and we're not Jewish so he wouldn't have been to bad to us. Cameron wants to screw us and he will.




Cameron is the biggest monster in the world right now. And in this case he may be the winner but we are all losers.


"I do not enjoy the act of pooing I just enjoy the end result," James Leopold Dense, blogger, retard

Happy Birthday Chet

Greetings my fellow Huggynites and welcome to another Dose of Dick with me Dick Smalls. It's a special week for us here at CoMH as our good friend Chet Ajabagger turned 50 0n the 12th of April. This week we have all your usual favourites, Pick's, Pricks, The Big Question, Jimmy's Poo and Thought of the Day. We're also proud to present our new feature, a tribute to Ruper Grint. Enjoy!




1. Chet Ajabagger



Yes he's 50 this week can you believe it? We certainly can't. We all thought he'd be dead by now but after recovering from his alcoholism Chet's turned his life around and is a valuable member of the CoMH team. How's he celebrating? Well we've had to chain him to his desk to prevent him going on another bender like last year...

2. Keane



Well they're certainly not here because we like their music, I'm a death metal fan myself. We salute Keane these week because we they have spoken out about the Conservatives using Keane's music to promote their self satisfied smugness.

3. Richard Herring



We salute you Mr. Herring for trying to reclaim the so called Hitler moustache. Chet had one in the 1970s and he was persecuted because of that. Hopefully if we stand up to this kind of biggotory we can make real progress.

4. God



Looks like God's calmed down a bit after his weeks of wrath. Rooney's recovered, it's been quite sunny and Chet's liver is still working.



1. Jordan/ Katie Price



It seems like forever ago that Joseph Fritzl was our biggest prick ever with two appearances on the chart. These days Jordan (this week played by a fat emo) holds that record and continues to streak ahead of Daniel Radcliffe. This week we've included her for her shouting at an old aged pensioner about a disabled parking space. Yes she has a disabled son but that doesn't give her the right to abuse our lovely pensioners. They are of course very welcome to abuse her, they don't know any better.

2. David Cameron





Normally we'd keep church and state seperare. But for this smug prick we're happy to break that rule. This man got his wife pregnant so he could win the election, he likes to pretend he's just a normal guy when he's a jumped up little toff. This man is the devil. If you vote for David Cameron you will get AIDS and you will die.



3. Twitter


We've tried to like Twitter but it's just lame. And it keeps getting worse. In an attempt to appeal to young people it's now recreating Romeo & Juliet using Tweets which is just the gayest thing ever.

4. The Pope



You know why he's here, I know why he's here, he knows why he's here. Naughty Pope. (We know this is not a picture of the current Pope but it's quite funny so we thought we'd use it).



Welcome to our new section dedicated to the nation's least hated ginger, our old mate, Grinty. Each week we pay tribute to Grinty by sharing a picture with you loyal readers showing you just why we love him. First up this beauty:





This week: The bullet that killed JFK and I've tested it, it doesn't come from Lee Harvey Oswald's gun, this could be the evidence that M.V.D. needs to solve this case.


This week it's perhaps the biggest of all questions who'd win in a fight between Phil off Eastenders and Grant who used to be off Eastenders.




Well this one's easy. Grant who used to be off Eastenders might be out there trying to solve the problems in the middle east but he's no match for Phil off Eastenders.




Phil is the hardest man in the world and the best damn actor this country has ever produced.



""A hippie is someone who looks like Tarzan, walks like Jane and smells like Cheetah." Ronald Reagan, actor, president, dead dude

Until next time...
Peace & Love
Dick Smalls

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