A Dose of Dick In Winter

Greetings my fellow Huggynites and welcome to another Dose of Dick. I'm currently training for this week's Dancing With The Stars where I shall be performing a Foxtrot!

Obviously I've been really busy recently so the blog has suffered but don't worry we are planning a full relaunch in the coming months so that's something to look forward to. Now it's time for Dick's Picks!

Dick's Picks:

1. Stephen Gately



Only the good die young and once again someone dear to our hearts has joined the angels much too soon. Boyzone were very close to our hearts and it was such a shock to hear of sweet Stephen's passing. Chet hasn't stopped crying.

2. Kathy Ireland

Dear old Kathy, thank god for her terrible dancing skills or I'd have been voted off last week's Dancing With The Stars.

3. Peter Andre

Every day I must get at least a thousand e-mails asking me which side the CoMH takes in the case of Katie and Peter. Well the CoMH is proud to stand by Peter because Katie Price is a double whore and a half.

4. Dr. Sam Beckett & Al

Dr. Sam Beckett was part of an experiment that went horribly wrong and he's now forever trapped "leaping" through time and taking on the lives of every day people, putting right what was once wrong. And last week he leapt into Chet and with the help of his hologramatical friend Al cured him of his alcoholism. Cheers guys!

Dick's Pricks:

1. Donny Osmond

Donny Osmond is a cheating bastard. Last week whilst performing a Tango on Dancing With The Stars he used an illegal lift and yet still got top marks. And he's only half the singer that Little Jimmy Osmond is so there!

2. Len Goodman

Top marks for Donny Len? Really? This is why you're a prick. And my rumba deserved at least a ten.

3. Katie Price/Jordan

Seriously why do people consider this piece of filth news worthy? She's half the man Peter is.

Well next week you can look forward to another top 10 bad actors Dick's Pricks special and a Top 5 Celebrities That Look Like They Have Down's Syndrome with Jimmy Dense. To tide you over here are some words of wisdom...

Words of Wisdom:

"Possibly is infinity! You must be satisfied!"

The Return of Dick

A Dose of Dick

with Dick Smalls

Greetings my fellow Huggynites!

Yes after 4 months in a secure unit I am returned! And I'm glad to report that I'm fully recovered from my recent breakdown. Why haven't I updated for so long? Well as many of you will know I have been taking part in the smash hit TV show Dancing with the Stars against such legends as Donny Osmond and Waldo from Where's Wally. Thank you for all the support I've recieved from the loyal supporters of CoMH.

Dick's Picks:

1. Michael Jackson

It hit us all hard here at CoMH. Losing such a bright star is always traumatic but Michael meant so much to us all here at CoMH. Who can forget Chet's magical rendition of Ben at the funeral of Jimmy's pet rat Ben or when Buzzy Gastro performed the moonwalk at Mikestock '94. We salute you Michael.

2. Patrick Swayze

Another soul lost to us in recent months. Dirty Dancing is the Prophet Mike's favourite movie and we were all saddened by Patrick's passing.

Dick's Pricks:

1. Woof the Dog

We here at CoMH love Where's Wally/Waldo but do you know what we don't like? Woof the cheating bastard dog how can you find a dog's tale at the beach? Die Woof, die.

2. Lily Allen

Normally we haven't nothing against cave men with Down's syndrome having successful music careers but when it comes to Lily Allen we just don't see the appeal at all.

Catch you next time Huggynites for the all new Dose of Dick.