The Church of Mike Huggins Hall of Fame

We here at CoMH are proud to announce the opening of the OFFICIAL CoMH Hall of Fame. The Hall of Fame will pay tribute to those amazing people who have touched all our lives. Only the cream of humanity will make it into this gallery of gods. We are proud to unveil the first inductee of the CoMH...

The Church of Mike Huggins Hall of Famer #1


Scatman John

Famous for such hits as "Scatman (Skibbidy Dooby Wah Dibby Do)" and "Scatman's World (Shibby Dibby Honky Hoo)" Scatman touched us all in the 1990s. John passed away in 1999 from lung cancer but we at CoMH have never forgotten this legend and adopted his biggest hit as our official anthem. John was a brave man and we leave you with some wise words from the great man himself. Scatman John we salute you and welcome to the CoMH Hall of Fame.

Words of Wisdom from Scatman John on facing death:
"Whatever God wants is fine by me... I've had the very best life. I have tasted beauty."

Dick's Pricks Bad Actors Special

Dick's Special Pricks

As part of Dick's recovery his therapist recommended that Dick does something really enjoys. And there's nothing Dick loves more than picking his pricks. So here's a special movie edition of Dick's Pricks where Dick has picked his top 10 bad actors. Enjoy!

Here we go in reverse order...

10) Tom Cruise




He's back for a second time. It's Tom Cruise star of Cocktail, Top Gun, Born On The Fourth of July and Legend. Classics in their own right. Mr. Cruise I do not enjoy your "acting" and politely request you retire gracefully.

9) Nicholas Cage



Is his face really that wide? Is he just a puppet? Has he got lock jaw? Is he a mongoloid? Who knows but one thing's for sure. He's a bad actor...and a prick.

8) Ben Affleck


I'm going to tell you something that will upset you. Ben Affleck has earned more money from his "acting" than you will earn in your life. He gets millions for being Ben Affleck doesn't it just make you sick?

7) Adam Sandler


What is it with this guy? His voice pisses me off. His face pisses me off. And I hate his films and his terrible acting. What a prick.

6) Paris Hilton


Did you see her in My Name Is Earl? She had one line and she delivered it in an unbareably bad way. Those cold dead eyes fill me with a rage. Please Paris stop. Please

5) Ricky Gervais


Gervais your not funny. Your episode of The Simpsons was the worst ever. And you can't act you prick.

4) Cederic off Harry Potter (The one that died but you didn't really know who he was so you didn't care that much)


Floppy haired pansy. Can't act. Looks a little bit gay. Yep that's why he got the main role in chick flick slighty gay Twilight. What a prick.

3) Rupert Grint


RECORD BREAKER!!!!!

Yes he's now officially the biggest prick in the universe, he has now over taken Josef Fritzl and been a Dick's Prick a record 3 times. And here's why...You look at him and you want to vomit. He's ginger and thinks it's acceptable to have long hair and all he does is pull stupid faces and grunt. God I hate him.

2) That mongoloid from Twilight


Has she suffered a stroke? Cause she talks a bit like she's had a stroke. And her face looks very strokey. Well if she hasn't then she has no right to call herself her an actress.

1) Daniel Radcliffe


Joining Tom Cruise and Josef Fritzl at 2nd on the all time biggest pricks in the universe it's cock exposing horse s hagger Daniel Radcliffe. His acting is the worse in the universe. Harry Potter 3 is pretty terrible. Have you seen the crying seen? We thought he was bad in the first 4 Harry Potter films then came the fifth. Like a Pokemon his bad acting has gone through 3 stages of evolution reaching it's peak in the first ten minutes of the fifth Harry Potter. This was the most painful thing I have endured in my long life. Give it up Radcliffe, you are lower than that ginger bastard Grint what does that tell you?

A Message from CoMH

Greetings followers of the Prophet Mike.

In the last few days the CoMH has spent a great deal of time in the spotlight after this picture appeared in a tabloid newspaper:

We have recieved many concerned e-mails from loyal followers about our Chairman, Dick Smalls. As many of you will know Dick recently split from his beautiful wife, Regina, Miss Thailand 1976, after 32 years of marriage. This has been a major blow to Dick and his eldest son Larry, the head of P.R. at CoMH, has checked Dick into the Priory Clinic to help him overcome his alcoholism. At the Priory he'll be sharing a cell, sorry I mean room with Chet afer his recent relapse. All of us here at CoMH wish Dick a speedy recovery. Due to the loss of the two most senior members of CoMH we have been forced to hire a temporary chairman to cover for them. Luckily for us Dick's elder brother Lancelot Smalls recently became available and will take charge of CoMH until Dick is fit to work again.

Peace & Love

CoMH

A Big Dollop of Dick

A Dose of Dick

with Dick Smalls

Hey kids it's me again! My wife has officially filed for divorce. So I'm feeling a little bit down today. I've been drinking since 7a.m. but the pain just won't go away. I am so very lonely. Chet if you're reading this I need you to hold me, tightly, all night.

Dick's Picks:

Dick Smalls

That man there is me! I'm a pick I really am. And ladies I'm available if you want your own personal dose of Dick call me.

Dick's Pricks:

My wife, Regina Smalls

This beautiful bitch broke my heart. She ripped it out smashed it into tiny pieces and stomped on it a little more. She wrote jokes for Penguins and met another joke writer Bertha. Now they live together and are going to have a full on lesbo civil partnership this summer. I wish I was dead.

Words of Wisdom:

"Don't leave me in all this pain

Don't leave me out in the rain

Come back and bring back my smile

Come and take these tears away

I need your arms to hold me now

The nights are so unkind

Bring back those nights when I held you beside me

(chorus)Un-break my heart

Say you'll love me again

Un-do this hurt you caused

When you walked out the door

And walked outta my life

Un-cry these tears

I cried so many nights

Un-break my heart, my heart

Take back that sad word good-bye

Bring back the joy to my life

Don't leave me here with these tears

Come and kiss this pain away

I can't forget the day you left

Time is so unkind

And life is so cruel without you here beside me

(Chorus)Ohh, oh

Don't leave me in all this pain

Don't leave me out in the rain

Bring back the nights when I held you beside me

(rpt Chorus except last line)

Un-break myUn-break my heart, oh baby

Come back and say you love me

Un-break my heartSweet darlin'

Without you I just can't go on

Can't go on"

Peace & Love

A Heartbroken Dick Smalls

A Dose of Dick In The Sun!

A Dose of Dick

with Dick Smalls

Hello my fellow Huggy bear followerz how you all doing? It's me here your bestest pal Dicky Boy Smalls with another dose of Dick, I know you love it. What's been happening this week at CoMH. Well not alot really. Chet did...something...I don't know what I'm not his bloody keeper you know. What's next...oh yes I remember...

Dick's Picks:

1. Pat Nevin

This weeks picks have a football theme you got a problem with that? Well Chelsea have appointed a new manager but lucky for us footballing legend Pat Nevin was willing to share his opinion. I mean we all wanted to know what Pat thinks didn't we people? Where do you work again Pat? Five wasn't it?

2. Eric Cantona

He's French and likes Sardines. He has a beard. I think he's funny.

Dick's Pricks:

1. Kim Jong-Il

Kim please stop firing nuclear missiles, you are really starting to piss me off. Be a good boy and disarm them and maybe, just maybe I'll make you a pick.

2. Mike from down the road

Mike, playing your bloody Bee Gee records on full blast all night, I'm sick of it there for I'm making you a prick!

Smug Git of the Week:

Michael McIntyre

If smugness took a shit this is what it would look like. Look at that stupid, smug, poncey face. I'd enjoy beating him up I really would. I'd keep hitting him then I'd be all like "my fist is getting tired" but then I'd remember I have another one and when that's tired I have my feet and so on. And when I'm too tired to carry on my brother Lancelot can take over, then my son Larry. As long as we silence this irratating, unfunny, smug bastard who cares?

Words of Wisdom:

"lifes not short its the longest bloody fing ull ever do!!!!"

from http://www.txt2nite.com/wisilly.html

Peace & Love

Dick Smalls